Did I Die? Because I Am Surrounded By Angels

I went to the passport office to get my internal passport done, which is something I needed for work. Also known as the "Russian Federation Citizen Passport," it is kind of like your Social Security card back in the United States, but an actual passport with your photograph on it. The passport office happened to be in a police station. There was a really beautiful lady officer there, and I really wanted to ask her to put handcuffs on me right then and there. Tell me you would not be tempted to ask these two lady officers to put handcuffs on you?

Post by Discover Russia.

At this point, I've been in Moscow for a couple days, and I was still blown away by the number of absolutely gorgeous women everywhere. It is as if you arrived in the middle of a super model convention or something. At first, when they asked me a question I had absolutely no idea how to respond, because I am not used to gorgeous women talking to me. I have always been somewhat of a nerd, to be completely honest. As I got more acclimated to the unique experience, I found it relatively easy to talk to the local ladies. Russian women are friendly, warm, and wonderful human beings. They have big hearts filled with tenderness and compassion, which is why they make such great mothers (and bomber pilots, apparently). It is quite possible that I am considered somewhat exotic to them, since I have a slight accent when speaking in Russian. Whatever the reason, they seem to find me a curiosity.

I am told that the women to men ratio in Russia is very favorable. So, it is probably impossible for me not to find a nice Russian girl who can rain down bombs of hugs and kisses upon me, the kinds of sweet, wonderful bombs that I've been only dreaming about. I know you're probably supposed to limit your smiles and look somewhat serious, as some guys tell me, but I find not smiling almost impossible as I walk through Moscow. Ladies and gentlemen, I have arrived in Heaven and I am surrounded by angels.